NO TASTE
No salt, no sugar, no taste
So-called healthy eating is a waste
There's no satisfaction in cardboard
Dress it up, but it's still abhorred
The juice bar freaks and fruit loops,
Concocting all sorts of gagging goop
Have their taste buds in the ruts
Avocado, prunes and piñon nuts
I want to know where they learn this
Is there a cooking class that's gone amiss?
Where did they get credentials?
That permit them to leave out essentials
Yet whenever you talk with one of them
They flood the sales pitch trying to prove their gem
I always wonder if they're still trying to sell themselves
Will they ever know how much it repels?
The best I can ever say about any of it
Is that it tastes like they didn't know when to quit
Like they didn't know what to do with their sheepskin
And so little bits and pieces end up in their concoction
© 2025 / Brian McNeal
My grandad always said, "a leopard don't change his spots"
Navigating your way in this world is just a matter of connecting the dots
When you find a dot of the wrong size or color, beware
Don't draw your line in that direction without due care
You'll never see the picture for what it really is
If you've been duped by misdirectional fiz
Smoke and mirrors and snake oil advocates
Distort like a butcher with his thumb on the weights
Once you've been fooled into accepting the free lunch
Next you'll become associated with the wrong bunch
It's a one-way path from which very few ever return
When your integrity and ethics are gone, prepare to burn
The shiny baubles and trinkets glisten and tempt
When it comes time to pay, you won't be exempt
The last will be first, and what seems easy now
You'll be made to atone and can never disavow
© 2025 / Brian McNeal
WHO'S BAD IDEA WAS THIS?
Imagine a tractor store that sells no diesel oil
Or a restaurant that thinks coffee should boil
Imagine the fresh smell of bakery items
Right next to the smelly fish vitals
Imagine a tour bus driver who drinks
You can't imagine what he thinks
Or how safe you aren't in his bus
When you're drinking too, what's the fuss?
Imagine an automatic rifle fired by a dimwit
Only after the shooting, when you've been hit
You realize his aim is not perfect or even controlled
Who imagined he should have a weapon so bold?
Imagine a mechanic in the autoshop
Distracted by a blonde in shorts and crop top
Who knew your brakes did not go back on?
Then at eighty miles per hour, your brakes are gone
Imagine this incompetence being accepted by all
Thinking that nothing can be done about the gall
It's not hard to imagine, we live with it every day
It's the world we've built in complete disarray
Imagine what it would be like with more pride
In a world where truth and honesty don't hide
Imagine exellence being a world-wide trend
Instead of incompetence being your best friend
© 2025 / Brian McNeal
STUMPING A GEN Z CLERK
How to stump a Gen X or Gen Z store clerkJust ask them if they have shoe polishLook at the befudled look on their faceWatch their arrogance become rather smallishSomething else they'll never find for youAsk them to show you were the typing paper isFollow them all around the storeDon't allow them to simply "take a guess"Try asking directions to the nearest FotomatOr if they carry 35 millimeter film in black and whiteAsk if they have blank tapes or head cleaner for your VCROr if they've ever heard of hindsightMost have already heard about the giant music discsBut even the compact ones are now passeDownloading inferior quality from the web is preferredTo be expected with brain matter 50 shades of greyOnce upon a time a store clerk could offer helpBut today, they only stock the storesIt's not important for them to learn what isPlanned obsolescence means we're all dinosaurs
© 2025 / Brian McNeal
HARANGUER
What's worse than having just one
Is when you have two behind the gun
A doppleganger haranguer is an example
When one would have been more than ample
When two are venting the same rant
Twins, even if one is only a sycophant
Sometimes confused with a "copycat"
Or, possibly even a genuine photostat
© 2025 / Brian McNeal───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
CHRISTMAS CRAP
To be fair, it's not just Christmas that get's the bad rap
Halloween, Thanksgiving and Easter also get the crap
The cheap plastic blow-up trash that some have in their yard
Fresh off the boat from the orient, but oh, the tariffs are so hard!
CCR and HOA can't seem to get a hold on this neighborhood blight
People just litter their yards with plastic trash and add a light
Very few will decorate with colored lights like "Christmas Vacation"
Season's joy and good cheer have been steamrolled over by a trash fasination
I was reading the Craigslist ads and to my surprise
Something for sale right before my eyes
Brand new, still in the box they said
Why not return it to the store, is what was in my head
Most stores will take back unused and unopened product
With their good customer service, they won't object
Even without the receipt they'll try to make it right
Maybe with a gift card or an exchange if you might
And take a reduced amount - didn't make sence, I felt
But then I noticed several more ads with other stuff
All brand new and still in boxes sure enough
Some of the finest and most expensive items I ever saw
One of the for-sale items I could use myself - Old Glory
So I contacted the seller and found out more of the story
So, they really didn't want to pay good money to store a bunch of junk
Seems that there were some things they wouldn't put in print
It wasn't what they did that frosts me, but rather what they didn't
What's gonna happen when Auntie comes and they hand her a Solo cup for drinking
Or when Uncle Paul calls to ask how they like the gift he sent
They won't even be able to say where the money went
To send them stuff they didn't want and could't use
It never entered their mind that the gifts came with love and affection
So they'll throw that away as well, totally void of circumspection
Then send it all back with a note for good cheer
A Christmas present from the ghost of days bygone
Just hope you don't ever spot the gift you sent at their local pawn
When a man says "he can't," he means "he won't"
And that can't be honest, 'cause he don't
Think clearly before he opens his mouth
And then all his credibility goes south
Those who believe they can't, haven't really tried
A half-hearted try is as good as a groom without a bride
When you've given it all you've got and still can't
Try looking at it with a completely different slant
"Can't" never accomplished anything worthwhile
The "Can't Defense" never works well in a trial
You'll never get far with a "can't attitude"
Like a beauty contestant with her face tattooed
It's harder to do the "can't" than it is to do the "can"
"Can" is merely two fifths of "can't"
Forty percent is all it is and that's no lie
It's harder to do "can't" than to just give "can" a try
Just when you're about to give up and say "I can't"
Remember the sincere sentiment of my rant
Then try to find another way to view the task
Try and try again until you remove the "can't" mask
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