RANTS RANCH: THINKIN' MAN

WHAT A COWBOY THINKS ABOUT e-BEGGING

This constant bombardment for reviews is invasive
It's completely unnecessary and quite offensive
They want us to think they'll somehow improve
If we'd just give them a positive review

What they're really fishing for is kudos and atta-boys
That they can publish and play with like a bag full of toys
People who are suposed to have a level of expertise
Are asking the layman how to run their companies

They don't want negative reviews by any means
The truth hurts, they say, but not for them it seems
A low rating wlll get a response with excuses
But no changes in the way of improvements

"How did you like your stay with us? Was your meal alright?"
Hell no, I paid for excellence and you want me to accept second rate?
They act like we should be glad we got a bicycle instead of a race car
And if we're not, then somehow, we're the ones who are bizarre

Write to a company about a defective product and wait for a response
A nice customer service agent will sympathize and send you some coupons
For more of the very same defective stuff without actually fixing the trouble
Then they'll beg for a review of their service, sending requests in double

Just try to ignore their request for a review
You'll get threatening reminders in your email queue
Consultants used to get paid huge amounts for this work
Now they're all unemployed thanks to this unverified measurment quirk

Only a fool thinks a wolf in sheep's clothing is acceptable
Their attitude about their obligations to their customers is despicable
They must think we're all blind fools with their lack of quality control
Reviews are their way of dodging their responsibility role

Unqualified reviewers with glowing praise and adulation
Think they'll be more popular and seek their own attention
Then the companies sing their own 5-star song
And say that so many of their customers just can't be wrong

But the one star reviewers and those who say even one is too much
Get ignored or excused as cranks, kooks, nincompoops and such
This global market has given the sellers validation for sub-par
They use this contrived measurement tool to polish their tainted star

When Saint Peter gives them their final review before he opens the gate
Won't they be surprised to find they've woken up way too late
When the trumpets don't blow for them and they're sent below
I'd like to be standing there just to say, "I tried to tell you so!"

© 2025 / Brian McNeal

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THINGS THEY WILL NEVER KNOW

When the "Kodak Moment" happened just as the film ran out
How to make a "long distance call" instead of a shout
Dimming your headlights with the toe of your left foot
Or how to turn real pages in a good book.

Cleaning the chimney and filling the lamp with oil
Waiting longer than a minute for the water to boil.
Making a change for the good without mayhem
Or just making change without a computer to help 'em

What a sock-hop is and a ten cent flick
When "on demand" meant: "do it quick"
How to share music in a listening booth
Or the difference between real and fake truth.

When a cloud stored only rainwater
Why it's good to have an alma mater
What the "rewind" button actually does
And to do what Mama said, just because.

Telling time without a digital clock
Getting excited about going to the cakewalk
What the letters V-C-R actually stand for
Or why it's important to always close the barn door.

When a doctor had the only belt that would beep
How to talk without using text-speak
Holes on the sides of the paper for the tractor feed
Or how to find a job without INDEED.

How to do research without asking Google
The serenity of "Taps" when played on a real bugle
Using all ten fingers on the typewriter keys
Or how much more they can get with the word "please."

What someone means when they need pen and paper
What happens when a plane flies into a skyscraper
Cosmic rays are not something they invented
And coffee is already scented

There is no such thing as artificial intelligence
That politeness and courtesy should take precedence
Just why they should prepare a checklist
Or that real and tangible stupidity does exist

Why people needed carbon paper for their typewriters
That they didn't originate the name "Foo Fighters"
The original meaning of the word "Geek"
Or why it's wise to think before you misspeak

What is meant by the term "Broken Record"
Or why it's necessary to go back to the drawing board
That some things still take a long time to finish
Or why hurrying will cause the quality to diminish

How to write in cursive
Why a song has verses
That a man can never be a female
Or that knowledge requires one to travail

The list goes on and on and will never end
Time changes, and technology will always transcend
The shear amount of what they don't know amazes me
But I don't know why they frown on learning history.

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A COWBOY'S LOOK AT A SICK SICK WORLD

Disrespect runs amok

It's the "In" thing right now

Vulgar stickers on the truck

The world has gone sour

Graffiti on tombstones

Destruction by design

Protesters foreign born

Can't be in their right mind

It's a sick, sick world for sure,

When everyone's rights trump all

It's a malady without a cure

One man's fun is another man's pall

Lie to get what they want but don't need

Steal rather than pay

That, which outshines all, is their greed

What happened to yesterday?

Honesty is now a fool's flaw

Cheating by hook or crook for fun or smite

Guess they never heard that old saw

Two wrongs don't make a right

The cowboy way has slipped away

No more can we salute that honor

Even the peaceful protest is now cliche

Simple respect in society is a goner

When disrespect is the hallmark

Common decency doesn't have a chance

When did we start living in the dark?

And why don't they pay for the dance?

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RANTER'S RÉSUMÉ

I've ranted and raved about this and that most all my life
I've ranted and raved about cars and the way people drive
And I've done due diligence about the changing of the time
I've ranted in color, in the press, incognito and in rhyme

Most all my life, I've ranted and raved about conditions that
Rile and rankle and rub raw the nerves under my hat
And I've got to say it's done me no good most of the time
But I feel a lot better once I've gotten the subject off my mind

Oh, give me a rant, a real good rant, and I'll sure tell you
Give me a topic from the tropic with oceans blue
Give me a reason, any season, Summer, Spring or Fall
I'll give you direction, without objection, rants for one and all

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IN SEARCH OF TRUTH

The more we know we know
The less truth we find
Always the other kind
That comes and then goes

At the end life here on earth
Will we have knowledge of it?
Will we benefit from its efforts?
Or will we simply start a new birth?

Will we finally know the truth?
After death will it be revealed?
Or will it always be concealed?
Oh, the innocence of youth

Do we carry our sins?
Or leave them behind?
Do we start a new grind?
When we lose, do we finally win?

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LIFE IS LIKE ...

Life is like a string mop
Dirt from bottom to top
Needs to be cleaned
Before benefits redeemed

Life is like a box of chocolates
Always digging into our wallets
You never know what's inside
Or even what's implied

Life is like pages in a book
The next is worth a look
Always turn the page
Before your moorage

Life is like a board game
Until the storm came
No "Go" No "Boardwalk"
Plenty of political backtalk

Life is like a cup of tea
Sipped ever so slowly
Too fast, and you're burned
A lesson to be learned

Life is like a race car
Goes too fast and too far
A gift on your birth day
But you can't afford it anyway

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WORDS ARE FREE

If words were a dollar,
Would people use more?
Minimalism in language,
What are the words for?

No one needs to buy a vowel,
Or a word or a phrase.
They all come free anytime
I know, it's an old-world craze

But it's served us well
For many years and then some
Language arts are important
To help us with comprehension

Would you be so stingy,
If words were a buck?
Would you use less,
Or take more for luck?

When all the words you ever want,
Come free of consideration or cost.
Why skimp and cut corners?
Communication cannot be lost.

Use 'em or lose 'em.
You know how it goes.
Alphabet letters and symbols.
Then you'll be right on the nose.

If words were a dollar,
And you could have all you desire,
How many would you use?
How many would you acquire?

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WHAT SHOULD BE

Yogurt should be eight ounces, not six

Drivers should keep their interval

Or leave earlier and get off my six

Freaks should be in the carnival

Friends should be understanding

Neighbors should be helpful

Learning should be mind-expanding

Children should be more respectful

Medical care should be free for all

The government shouldn't drop the ball

Social media should be controlled

Rock should be Rolled

Quality should always be primary

Congress should be harmonious

News should be facts, not commentary

Some people should be less odious

Aging should be less painful

Accomplishments should be celebrated

Efforts should be gainful

An audience should be captivated

Nuns should be in the habit

Experiences should run the gamut

Priests should be in the pulpit

A Scotsman should be in full kit

Customer service should be human

Handwriting should be cursive

Voters should have acumen

Respect should be shown to hearses

Time should be Natural year 'round

People should find common ground

Guns should be used wisely

Rightly should never trump politely

What should be, isn't always what we see

We aren't all the same and we shouldn't be

Differences should be welcome

But welcome differences come too seldom

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THINKIN' MAN

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